454: secrets

Ive been meaning to tell you about the texture of your lips and palms
How they seem to sink into me
Deep
How your breath hits the back of my neck like bullets
Makes me stand up straight
Makes me wish I could do the same to u
I wanna to crash into you
Most days
But I keep these secrets hidden under my tongue
Where you can find the scars of passed loves
I want to lay there with u and feel beautiful
Take my hair down and let u count each of my insecurities
You'll call me stunning
And I'll wish I believed you

But when we kiss
Something seems to break through
The woman I am afraid to be breaks through this skin
The dust settles
Things make sense
Even being call beautiful
Its something I can feel with u
Naked on my bed but..
Those are scary feelings
They don't come out easy
So
I have to force myself not to tell you about how each touch of yours I've memorized
How I've written them into poems
And I've lined the inside of my skin with the taste of your tongue
I try my hardest not to write about you
Not to think about u
In your silence
I try to call myself distance
And call you the ocean
But I am a light house
Looking for lost hearts to bring to shore
And you may not be lost but your shining like a sinking ship
And I'm imaging us both
Hitting the bottom
Sinking in beauty
Suffocating in our pleasure
Praying to have enough air
For at least one last taste of your skin