Day 539: cocoon

You are the kind of woman who leaves something behind
Last night
It was two tracks pinned into my intestines
A freight train
Burning through the nights
Butterflies
Forced back into cocoons
A painful process I promise you
nothing as beautiful as a butterfly ever wants to be ordinary again
thats whats you've made me
pulled me out of my casing ready to reach the world
show them
screaming
look
this
this is what my love calls beautiful
i am something to marvel at
but tonight
i am burnt pieces of an old fire you've forgotten
i am rust on the chain on your bicycle
something you know myst be there
only from the screams it creates at your ankles
from the way it makes you rattle
it is not something you remember where curled to a warm body
and its snowing outside
not something you remember when you're lis are wet and ready
beautiful,
some things are better left ordinary
they cannot be shoved back into place
when you are finished
i am too big for the whole you caressed me out of
and now
have troubler finding a warm home of my own
something comfortable
that doesnt feel like breaking


tomorrow will be different
thats the only promise i ever make
the only one that can ever be true and lie at the same time
whats the same is that
i'm still broken and shattering
and burning
forgotten
almost
a watermark on the corner of your new smiles and pictures
of lovers
one nights stands
that dont mean anything
but more than me
how wrong that sounds
especially when its right out of your mouth
im not sure what tomorrow will be but tonight
Tonight
will be the spiders
Some will find their way to nest here
Make a home
Build something under my skin
In my bones
I will wake to their wispers
Wondering where you’ve gone since our last kiss
And where you lips may be tomorrow
Perched aggaisnt who’s dreams
Spilling love into whose skin
These are the question and fear
You leave behind in the darkness
I find them
Only when I am weak
And screaming for answers
To a you
that does not reply
Cuz its late
And the trains
Gone
Only done left its ash behind

Somehow it still burns with the lights off
it still hurts
with my eyes closed