Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Day 883: apologies

There is a reason why
i have given you a hard time
through the way you have dissolved into loving
because i can see my prints
on the scars you lead with into relationships
i notice the way our ends were cut and frayed
how you wanted to stay as i pushed you away
i see myself in every mistake you make
every heart that cracks under the uneven grounds you love on

i feel responsible for every fracture that falls in your wake
for the way i left you unsteady and baseless
find myself wanting to apologize to you in a million different ways
if only i could find the one that would teach you to turn your hands back into olive branches
because now
all i see of you
are weak limbs
and the bodies that have fallen because of them
i do not wish for either of us to carry the weight of broken hearts in shards on our skin

i realized i released you first
and that every mistake i made was me pushing you a mile further from you potential
i guess what i mean to say
is i know there is still blood on my hands
and everytime a new drop falls
i fins myself wanting to apologize
for all the things iʻve done
and all that you keep doing

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