Wednesday, January 9, 2013

What missing you means

i leave the bathroom door unlocked when i shower
take my time
wash my hair
once
twice
stop at three times
i wait
wondering if waiting will bring your return

i curl my body into the corner of my bed
press my skin agaisnt the cold of the wall
let the only heat come from my breath bouncing off my pillow
i let my body remember the space you occupied when you were here
refuse to let it dissipate

i eat lots of ice cream
and cry into my pillow
play the weepies and sing along until
my sobs drown out any sound resembling music

i am overly dramatic
write metaphors to compare my longing for you to some kind of serious trauma
it is not
we are perfectly safe in this distance
and one of us always returns
we will be okay

but it doesnt mean i do not find myself empty
having forgotten how to survive alone
it doesnt mean i will lock my bathroom door
anytime soon
or that i will take advantage of a full empty bed
no
there is no trauma
but i will miss you terribly
like there is
for every minute
of every day
until you return
to my arms
and ill show you
how iʻve saved your space

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