Simple Disruption

 Such a simple disruption 
When you say home 

And I am not at all sure 

What that even means anymore 

Such a transformation 

When you realize 

Your whole orientation 

To aina 

To self 

Has changed 

All in the 

Shadow of a mountain 

You were so recently a stranger to 

And now

What aina have forgotten you 

What oceans and ridgelines 

No longer hold the sacred song of your name

In your absence 

What of you is lost forever 

In your abandonment 

When you left to protect 

What you couldn’t afford to lose 

Did you know 

That the wahi pana that raised you 

Fed you

Grew you in her waters 

Would have to pay the price of your forgetting 

How that weight would be a debt you could never pay back 

What is this trauma 

Of knowing 

The precarity or your own personhood 

That at any moment you could become 

Estranged from your self 

That you might even already be so

Will you ever recover 

Will you ever be ready 

To face a mirror you don’t even recognize 

Anymore