Saturday, August 22, 2009

day 33: (from a Columbian hotel) fear

there is no need to sit below the windows here
our building towers the street
and yet
we still try to wipe the riches and american from our skin before we step outside this hotel
there are too many rules to be learned
like fear
i am not used to the excellerated heartbeat that comes with overcrowded cities
i wonder if they teach this fear in kindergardens here?
like it belongs in our hearts and that its normal
my soul is already to full
i cant seem to make it fit
i am terrified of the sweat that comes with it
i feel weak here
helpless
and wonder if the ones whove allowed roots to spurt through these streets
if they find an inevitability in these feelings
they do not suppress it, instead use it to propel forward
and im stuck between a gun and a hard place in my mind
i cannot walk here without feeling like i am being followed
and i miss my freedom

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