Day 826: discipline

there are few things in this world i hold to be absolutely true
if we take family to be self evident
then its just the oceans, my mountains,
and you
that i was born to see the beauty in crashing and rising again
a pheonix built into ever bend
its the same with the mountains
the ridges i learned to find home in
how they could fold over me in the form of a halo
hold me in its bosom
i see nothing but beauty in bends upon bends upon bends
curves crashing to the surface
its the same way i would learn to love you whole and boneless
free in movement
how i take every part of your body wondering how my curves will hold it
if you let me
i'd draw every fragment curve you have into a symphony

this is not a promise
this is loving you in practice
this is the actualization of imperfection and its inherit beauty
the build before the crash
the parts of you i try to hold steady
but cant
because anytime my hands come close enough to where you are most human
you stutter into secret
shrink into the distance

but i wanna love you like rainfall
contained and endless
hold you like the bends in the ocean
wanna build you a body you'll call a fortress
just with my kiss
forget the stitches
this is not about repair and rebuilding
this is about perspective
and the way i've learned to see so much more than single moments
how you've turned into something ageless and frequent


sometimes
i dream you a place in my body
wondering if you'd be able to love it
if it were yours
like we say i am
can you hold me
curved bended and endless
could you love me mountain
valley
and ocean
the parts of me that you cannot stand of yourself
or are we doomed to be the limited definitions tangled at forevers ankles

beautiful
find me a place at the base of your promise
i will learn to stay there and build potential from your secrets
from the scars where your negative space begins
because i can see so much of you phantomed into shadow
i know you can feel its itch
its sting
from the way you move around yourself
trying not to get caught standing still
and i am so terrified
that i will watch more of you disappear before my eyes

so let me be your new definition
find a home for yourself in my ocean
learn the way it only moves in bends
that every part of life
is a curve, spiral or circle
that nothing human is straight and flattened
you deserve more than what you have interpreted
let me show you where it all ends and begins
we will find you a vision
something arching into the distance
something made of my image
maybe then you will finally understand the difference
between beautiful
and disciplined