First i waited for the waves to roll another way
For the current to pull instead of push
for the tide to pitch and bring you back
I held on tight on the nights they did
Hoping it would last
And on the nights they didn’t i waited for a different present
So long
Til i ended up
Wishing for a different past
And then again by morning you were gone
so i wrote
And wrote
And wrote until i ran out of words
Until all my love was wrapped in rhyme and rhythm
something you might think beautiful
In the mornings I waited for the ink to dry
Then i tore the page
And started again
Each time i got further and further from the start
But i kept trying anyway
By the afternoon I was waiting for the wind to blow
For the rain to come crashing down
For my driveway to flood
Again
For the water to bring you home
And when it didn’t
I waited for your call
Your text
any way For you to say i love you
Again
Without being prompted
And when you didn’t I spent my evenings waiting
for you to want me
For the quiet to settle
& For your loneliness to catch me in your attention
And when it did,
I said to myself
She’s back again
Until you weren’t
And one night when you took the ocean away
I got tired of waiting
And i stopped believing in water
And salt
And tides
And currents
And rain
And wind
And you
And you
And you didn’t even notice
And carried on
Anyway
And the catchy motivational meme I read
said: Not everyone you lose is a loss
said: those who want to stay will stay
said: that just because i love someone doesn't mean iʻm supposed to be with them
said: someone can love you and not be ready
said: you never have to convince someone to do the work to be ready
said: the right person would fight for me
said: i would be okay
said: let it go and let it be
said: i will not be undone
said: i will not be undone
said: i will not be undone
I read them all and wrapped my heart in whatever rhyme and rhythm i had left
But I’m not sure I believe in any of that anymore either
