Monday, December 31, 2018

Rhyme and Rhythm

First i waited for the waves to roll another way
For the current to pull instead of push 
for the tide to pitch and bring you back
I held on tight on the nights they did
Hoping it would last

And on the nights they didn’t i waited for a different present
So long
Til i ended up 
Wishing for a different past

And then again by morning you were gone 
so i wrote 
And wrote
And wrote until i ran out of words
Until all my love was wrapped in rhyme and rhythm 
something you might think beautiful 

In the mornings I waited for the ink to dry
Then i tore the page 
And started again
Each time i got further and further from the start 
But i kept trying anyway 

By the afternoon I was waiting for the wind to blow
For the rain to come crashing down 
For my driveway to flood
For the water to bring you home
And when it didn’t 

I waited for your call 
Your text
any way For you to say i love you
Without being prompted 

And when you didn’t I spent my evenings waiting 
for you to want me 
For the quiet to settle 
& For your loneliness to catch me in your attention
And when it did, 
I said to myself 
She’s back again 
Until you weren’t 

And one night when you took the ocean away 
I got tired of waiting 
And i stopped believing in water 
And salt 
And tides 
And currents
And rain 
And wind
And you 
And you
And you didn’t even notice 
And carried on 

And the catchy motivational meme I read 
said: Not everyone you lose is a loss
said: those who want to stay will stay
said: that just because i love someone doesn't mean iʻm supposed to be with them 
said: someone can love you and not be ready
said: you never have to convince someone to do the work to be ready
said: the right person would fight for me
said: i would be okay
said: let it go and let it be
said: i will not be undone
said: i will not be undone
said: i will not be undone 

I read them all and wrapped my heart in whatever rhyme and rhythm i had left
But I’m not sure I believe in any of that anymore either

Friday, December 14, 2018


You always had 
The worst time 
Waiting for the waters to still 
Always wanted 
To wade too early 
Into her rough 

But what if 
You could quiet your own storms
 long enough to learn the difference 
Between the first pull of a rising tide 
And distance 
What if 
You could make yourself a shore 
Full of all the desire and wanting 
You ever needed 
So you weren’t left 

Always Wanting 
Palms facing god 
Waiting for rain 
And her current to change