Forever

If only she knew 

The number of times 

A beautiful Woman has told me 

I want you forever 

Just not right 

now 

What is this black magic that has me

My whole life suspended in some static future I can’t seem to catch 

Do not allow yourself to be 

Another woman’s getaway vehicle 

Another woman’s way out 

Or escape

Not again

Every time I start my car 

My phone calculates the minutes until I arrive at your door 

It tells me that traffic is light

It should be just the length of this song until you are in my arms

And yet, I feel freight cars stalled on the bridges cast from this quiet

What I am trying to say is:

I am always acutely aware of the exact distance between us 

How if I am not careful 

Your absence will swell and fill cavity in my lungs so deep 

I will forget how to breathe

Try again

Listen

To the words

she says

The first time around

Watch how they build brick roads for your departure

They are Sirens

You should take notice of

Pay attention to how

You are offered opportunities

One after the other

To take cover

And hold yourself as the tender thing you are

Pay attention to the way you choose to refuse

How you

Woman of rock and lava formation

will shed skin after skin

Until you are the very shape of open

So that when you are left

With the same questions, you’ve asked yourself before

Wondering, where this distance come from?

Or how you arrived in this barren landscape

You will have the answers

You will not need to beg at her ankles for explanation

You will not shrink until you evaporate

You will know

You did not listen,

Take the time,

This time.  to heal

And then, try

again.

Follow

Follow the women 

Who take you back to the sea 

Who show you how 

To hold your breath 

And dive deep

Follow those women 

Who’s scales don’t cut at your soft skin

Who can see the way 

You never shed

Just carry 

Follow the women 

Who return you to the ocean 

In your joy 

In your fear 

In your every body