Forever

If only she knew 

The number of times 

A beautiful Woman has told me 

I want you forever 

Just not right 

now 

What is this black magic that has me

My whole life suspended in some static future I can’t seem to catch 

Do not allow yourself to be 

Another woman’s getaway vehicle 

Another woman’s way out 

Or escape

Not again

Every time I start my car 

My phone calculates the minutes until I arrive at your door 

It tells me that traffic is light

It should be just the length of this song until you are in my arms

And yet, I feel freight cars stalled on the bridges cast from this quiet

What I am trying to say is:

I am always acutely aware of the exact distance between us 

How if I am not careful 

Your absence will swell and fill cavity in my lungs so deep 

I will forget how to breathe