Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 567: some things are better left ordinary

I was born on the 18th of may
On a summer night in Honolulu
A 90’s baby boomer
I could not break anything but my mothers heart
There are no foundations I have been taught to build
The common only crumble

the ordinary in me
wants to be built into castles
but my hands are tired and I’ve been less than what I was promised lately
all I know is that something has changed
and you left anyway

when I met you
I found a way to use this skin like a sundyle
Learned to write poems into miracles
That could walk on the orbs of your voices
You taught me what kind of halo is warm in darkness
And how to shine
Even without the slightest of light

there is a crackle in your kiss
that’s shakes the mundane from this skin
that’s begs to be more than what I was and am
I’ll spend the next 10 years trying to fit into the expectations you created when you made me beautiful

your love is a burden
I begged you for it knowing this

some things are meant to be left ordinary
and still will beg you to leave your sparkle
wish to be carved into temples
into poems
and novels
into stories of love and whispers
how they hover
will beg to be miraculous
your job is to resist all temptation
concret is stronger than krystal
and lets be honest,
ill never be a diamond
you do me no favors making me beautiful

I do not ask you to stay
Because I have spent too much time begging god
That you never leave
But Somehow
This cradle yourve given me for a voice
Has forgetten the frequency of prayer
Because not even he could convince you to stay

miracles are overrated
your smile
still something I haven’t found definition for

i feel like a sculpture at a museum
sparkling behind the glass of your gaze
the kind you must watch at for minutes
leave confused
call the artist brilliant
because you do not understand
I want to be understood
I should have asked to be left alone
But couldn’t

you are the kind of women who leaves something behind
I am your most recent masterpiece
They’ve built walls beyond my body
I was called a castle today from a distance
Because No one comes near enough to watch me crumble
touch the ruble
witness the fall
They call me miracle
But I feel like a tornado
Wishing to be ordinary
Wishing to be anything but beautiful

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