Saturday, June 10, 2017

Day 2: When the wave breaks, she creates

When the Wave Breaks, She Creates

I am a woman of feelings
 To live this life in full pigment
is to swallow a million hues of light
is to know a thousand different names and shades of darkness
My body is this moana of language
A tidal swell breaking
called every day into the moku’s sharp cliff
Come and watch the mess I make
Watch the way I crack and call it a performance of strength
Call me beautiful,
as you walk away.

I have been feeling a lot about what it means to receive
To call another body close
To see her tones and to know them as your own
To say, only what the body can
Through borrowed breaths and a stolen glance
To be intentional with the way your wave breaks across the surface of her cliffs
To know a magnetism beyond duress

I have been feeling a lot lately
In this body made of water
In this heart culled from the sea
My dark night pōuli
My dense lipo and shimmering ʻeleʻī
This bruised pōpolo
This hua that sprouts in salt

I have been feeling what it means
To look into a woman’s eyes and ask for her ancestors names
To dive into her pō and inhale deep
To learn to give thanks
For all the languages her body makes

I have been feeling a lot lately about what is left behind
All the times I have been left
And what it means to try
To hold and carry
Rather than tangle and choke the shores that come close
I have been feeling a lot lately
Which for this ocean means:
I have been breaking and spilling
Diving and rising

But today
I am not afraid of my undertow
I do not fear my wreckage
I lust to be undone by your shore
Because I am also a woman who believes
That there are other women of feelings
Who were fished out of the same sea
Who lets her crystal ocean fall and shatter
And calls it creation
Over and over
And I hunger to dive in the waves her heart makes
To be close and hold out my greatest gifts of intimacy
And not be turned away


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