Day 481: bad words

this is a poem for all the shity metaphors you write about being broken
for ever simile and the smiles you didnt have to write in order to exist
for the space between love and loved
and the way the past tense feels
sometimes
shattered
this is a poem for the girl who calls me forever
but wont call me now
will cry with me into the night
but still leaves by daylight

love is a dirty word
dont throw it here
dont leave it at my ankles
in your tracks
in your path of growing
dont run me over with it
pin me to the wall waiting with your breath
love or leave
but dont do both
it does me nothing but scars
it leaves me nothing but tears
and you
and memories
and shitty metaphors
and similes
that taste like tears
look like smiles
it doesnt give me you
love is nothing but letters
you
are nothing but skin
i am everything that has been forgotten
and pushed aside
you are remaking every mistake i ever wrote
i am watching from outside
the body
which has already been torn to pieces

so this is a poem for the ugly
for words like love
and forever
and the nasty things we say in our sleep to each other about picket fences, dogs and adoption
for the bad words like
fuck
cunt
and dyke
the ones that mean things like hate but still dont hurt like love
sometimes
breaks
this is a poem for you
and the two years i've known you
loved you
and still do

fuck.