Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Day 495: to my brother

most mornings
i wake screaming to the pacific
to the bluest of silences that stand between us
they are constellations filing the space we've left behind
in light years and decades
like skin graphs
we are too scared to forget
like the oceans we built with our own blood and sorrow
where we learned to drown and fall

we are too many miles broken
severed sand castles
left to crumble
by the weight of our changed world
under our wandering footsteps
during our journeys
leaving only just to find home

do remember all the sunrises that didn't fall over oceans
the ones you ignored because of the empty taste it left behind
thats the kind of heavy we carry
when we play islanders on continents
breaking our backs for experience

today i carry a white flag in my veins for every time i wished i could call
for every time i checked flight costs online
filled out the UH transfer form
but didn't have the strength
because it felt too much like giving up
felt to much like failure
and shame
but this
thisfeels too much like sacrifice
so i give myself standing ovations for all the songs of martyrdom i sleep by

you should know
it helps to feel you over the ocean
to know that i have a brother
who skin is the same color of forgotten
whose fits
the same textured callused
the same kind of severed roots
and wings
the things we are ashamed of and hide behind our jackets in closets
we all have them
but we are connected by the remains of umbilical scars
we are fighting the same wars
trying to write something beautiful enough to be remembered by
to sing ourway into someones memory
trying to forget the ways our parents failed to love us the way we needed them to
we are dying to succeed in the meantime
in a world that starts burying us from first breath
we are sorcerers of the nights
searching for the wings
we left on shores
we shouldn't of launched from
looking for homes we'd never find

1 comment: