Sunday, February 7, 2010

day 202:Bucket list

I want to go on a road trip
Trace the street lines on my lifelines
Memorize the way oak treees smell while you cross boarderlines
I wanna learn to fly
I what to know what it feels like to jump and be sure but still terrified
I want to hold fear in my hands so I know how blessed I am when I hold her
I want to write 4 novels about my 4 kids
Draw a picture about how they love eachother even when they won't admit it
I want to write someone else autobiagraphy
I want to know someone well enough to know myself through them

I want to write a map
Mold a globe
Make a baby with the last woman I love
Teach a class on how to love yourself better than anyone else can
And I want to believe everything I say
And say everything I think
So I know everything I think I belive
So my mind and heart become the same thing
I want to never be afraid of a homeless man
And know wht starving feels like so I never use the word out of context again
I want to be the person I'm to terrified to attenp to be
I don't want to be president but only because I want to know I CAn do better
I want to allow myself to fall in love as many times as I need to to believe in god
I want to look in the mirror and believe I'm beautiful even on my worst day

I want it to never be neccrsary to lie
I want to prevent as many tragedies that I can and accept the ones I can't
I want to tell my mother I love her
and relive everytime I said differently
So I can remember how ugly I have the ability to be
I wabt to be so honest with my body that I never need to speak again

You see
Some mornings
I don't feel much like an artist
I wake to scrape my stories and experiences from my skin
In hopes that something unforgettable might come from this pain
But lately
I've been completely uninspired for weeks at a time
And all I want to do is write a masterpiece
Breathe a song worth recording
Something that Somone would tattooe to their soul
For the off chance that i might live in them.
But I've learned u have to be a masterpiece to create one
break a heart to learn to love one
Write a million songs before you are written into one
And honestly,
I'm too afraid of the chance of failure to even try

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