Friday, May 14, 2010

Day 296: all the things i couldn't say then

i have a birthmark on the peak of my shoulder
i always wished you would notice it
give it more of your time
i wanted my imperfections to harness your attention
but they didnt
i had so many
i didnt know what to do with them
so i would fling them at the ceiling while you slept
some nights i would wake u up to them

im better now
i meant to say that earlier
i have less secrets and the ones i do will never get out
i promise
ive got stronger walls
better skin
i find myself defined by the imperfections
the birthmarks
beauty spots
when i think of them
i think of you
and how you didnt pay them much mind
you overlooked them all
for as long as i let you
and i didnt realize until just now
how that was the best thing you could do for me
but the worst for yourself

i guess what i mean to say is,
i love you
and thank you for calling me beautiful
when i was surely
nothing more
a monster

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