James says some nights
He can hear Jessica tap dancing on his scull
She is easels paintbrush dancing on his memories
Rhythmic broken screaming in his eardrum
When do you sleep James?
When are your thoughts silent enough to dream to?
Does Jessica ever feel like a lullaby?
James the last time I held you
it was two hours until night
two hours until I could feel your mind flip
dive into conversations one after the other
with persons stuck somewhere in the space between your ears
dancing along the place where your thoughts use to be
james calls his mother dreamer
and she tells him at sunrise
there is nothing in the dark of your mind
but he
he knows she doesn't know what teddy bears turn into in the dark
at sunset
she only sees her son turned christopher robin holding childhood too tight
and jessica is the only one who never forgets to kiss him goodnight
sometimes james mothers forgets what name he answers to so she slings silent prayers to her son
knowing
there is no room for more voices between his ears
there is already too much clutter there
james whats it feel like to fear everything
the sound of your breath
your own heartbeat
are you ever afraid of your own reflection
convinced that you are not there today?
They say skitsofrania is is a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality.
But reality
Reality is not being able to sleep because there is someone tap dancing on your skull
Reality
Is loving your self so much that you don’t know how to survive the pain of no one agreeing with you
Reality
Is a 12 year old boy sitting alone at lunch
Left with nothing but his perception
Maybe we are all seeing something from the wrong angle
Maybe today james is sane
And we are all blocking out consciousness in fear of being too james like
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