day 182: old

I can’t remember the last time I spoke fluently

In anything

The last time I had something to say

And I could say it without thinking

I would call it poetry

But no rhyme scheme or rthythm

Could do those words justice

No pun could sum up all the kaona locked in it

Fluency used to be an excuse

For my lack of English comprehension but today

I can’t say a single word without throwing the other language away

And I’m town between two worn dictionaries

That I’ve worn on my sleeves

For years

And I’ve been caught between two restrictive nets

And I’m tired of swimming

Like a mindless guppy swimming in circles

Like the earths awkward revolution around the sun

Around someone’s def of reason

But I’ve been blinded

By the salt water treason

And I cant see the reason

I stopped thinking about my history

Stopped revolving daily activities

I’ve used the excuse that I’m running out of time and I’m too busy

But in running out of time for my culture I ran out of time to be me

In fighting to be free

I’ve tangled myself in unbreakable

Hala bounds around my knees

And im fighting against a bible and dictionary

And im loosing

Whoever thought you could lose your life savings to a book

But when your life savings are values

And a book was made to bind you

You have no choice

We were built to lose

Nothing left to do but loose and its true.