Day 383:10 things that remind me of a thunder storm

Ten things that remind me of a thunderstorm

ONE.
summertime in indiana
farmhouse earthquakes
baby, dont cry. its not the plates tonight
its just the sky learning to fall right
theres nothing to be afraid of
the universe has been screaming for years
it will be alright

TWO.
the way the small of his back contracted as he walked out
tight
when he left
things seemed to shake
trembled
like indiana in summer
like thunder in my skin
like her didnt want to go
like i drove him away anyways
it always starts with a spark

lighting
its all so much scarier on the page

THREE.
her breath at 4 AM upon my chest
her palm upon my back
her fingers across my face
her lips curled into themselves
my skin waiting to be held
her walking away
looking back through the window
darting away with a spark of yellow
taxi
like my brother
leaving
like lighting
like she was never coming back

FOUR.
silence

FIVE.
the first time she asked me what it meant to be adopted
how it seemed wrong that there were no signs
there should have been rain
lighting
but there was just roaring trembles
i can still feel those questions under my soles.

SIX.
make up sex

SEVEN.
the distance between two bodies
like the distance between the sky and earth
how its hard to tell where ones begins and one ends
its as if they are always touching
always roaring
always remembering

EIGHT.
BUmper cars at county fairs
fist fights in middle school
wrestling with boys
being called a dyke
words that hurt
first that burn
sounds that cannot be forgotten
slammed door
closed hearts
things you dream to forget
like the first time you kissed and didnt mean it
how you learned to make the right noises- the ones that were familiar
like the sky does sometimes when you know she doesnt feel like moaning
not every night is the right time

NINE.
the word NO
how its sharp and should be able to harness anyones attention
how it changes
EVERYTHING

how it seems to be ignored

TEN.
summertime in indiana
in DC
in California
CHICAGO
Hawaii
summertime playing hearts against each other
texts msg ringtones
like the way i imagine her smile
from the backsteat of the taxi
waving
like
she's never coming back