Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 384: Letter challenge Day 3 (parents)

do you remember my conception
the fire behind his eyes
do you remember what sheets you slept on that night
is it something you cherished
like a family heirloom
like something precious but inexpensive to buy
the kinds of things we dont have
the things that remind us we are missing and empty soulless beings
that need materials to remind ourselves that we are breathing

what was the weather like when i was born
you've never told me such things
was it raining in mid may
or what it sunny
were there rainbows or dew on the windows the morning we returned home
did i like your bed
or did i insist on sleeping on skin
did you love me as much as you thought you would
had i already learned to be a disappointment by then,
like all daughters do at some point
wea re born soo rebellious
too strong for our own skin
we were ready for that fire
did you wish for rain so that i might be weakened at least for a moment
or did you relish in the idea of my destruction
i wonder

did i cry hard searching for breath
something to inhale
did i look like i belonged
i have all these questions i will never ask you
they all seem to simple
and yet completely out of line
but i want to know
do you remember my birth
where my names came from
do you remember where you were the first time you heard my song
do you know then that your daughter would carry that name
did you think of its consequences
do you ponder them still

do you remember the first time i spoke
did it seem like i was ready to scream
could you tell that i had been trapped
did you try to let me free
can you tell know i am still fighting through this body
would you help me out if i asked
would you learn enough to know i would never dare
if theres only silence in this room
along with our lonely hearts
will we every move forward
will we ever be anything more

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