even the sun cries when it sets sometimes
knowing the next time
wont be quite like the last
that its life
is spiraling away into infinity
at a speed that no one can grasp
that is how i feel about you
and getting older
and the inches you've added to your shins since 2008
and the special days like these
and the ones between
that were all the same
all equally mundane
how i missed them
and cried to every sky i could find
hoping one of them
would cover your ocean for long enough for you to notice
that i miss you like oxygen
like chicles and ice cream on a hot rainy day
because here
when the sky falls
it pours
and theres nothing warm about it
our ocean is brown
and our mothers
the ones we've constructed dont love us like the ones we were born to
and no one here
has a sister quite like you
a least not enough to make this distance a little more beautiful
today you are 15 years old
i and remember the first morning i held you
the moment mom and dad told me i wasnt going to be the baby any longer
i remember you first, 2nd third, fourth firth and every birthday since
even the ones i've missed
i remember them like promises i've made to myself to return
like the keep sakes that keep me in place
there is a ocean i've traded for you arms
its called the pacific
they say
we were born of this water
traveled in every direction there is to wonder
that the sea
was charted
only by our imagination
there is a truth to this that you cannot yet understand
but soon you will
know
how the ocean folds itself up every night
before i go to sleep
i send you a prayer
a promise that i will return
and i find myself
at least for a moment
a little bit closer
a little bit more
like a sister
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