Day 915: disappointment

i know now
that i am the breath
caught in the margins of regression
trying so lightly
to be pulled free
what happened to the heavy things like honesty
the parts that use to fall out so quickly
seem so tightly locked and roped up
i feel so tightly
locked
and roped

there is nothing but this shame
falling over and over
nothing but my lines
crawling back inside of me slowly
saying
no
i am not ready
not yet
to be more than i am