i was jealous
see she could find god with her index finger
and i
i couldn't even find him with my heart
i said i couldnt see him
she said i wouldnt see him
i dont know the difference
all i know is i want to feel him
trace his breath across my heart and chest
i want to know him
my father prays harmonies to the sky
my mother lost a mother at 16 and still reads scripture like she can she jesus resurrected every sunday
why cant i
what have i lost that so significant that keeps me from seeing something more than just breaths and moments
mornings and evenings
dreams
dont get me wrong
i believe in the miraculous
that i can change someone's life with a word
someone's dreams with a kiss
i believe that there is an energy larger and more touching than any poem ever written
but i have have yet to quantify it
to name it
someday
i want someone to point to my heart
call it jesus and mean it
believe that something good lives there
like scripture
that i cant be wrong
just misinterpreted.
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