Sunday, July 24, 2011

day 734: limbs

This morning
I sent you my goodbyes with the tongues of my fingertips
hoped you wouldn’t notice the way I kept my palms from your body
My breath from you gravity
My eyes from yours
There is so much of me now
Trying to be kept from you
Like my words
Don’t fall right
Don’t bring me home
I don’t know how to tell you that

I cant say I love you
Because im afraid it might be true
Might turn to sunrise
Might run away with you
Might take me away too
Might make me forget again
What it feels like to breathe
Stand straight
tall again
Make might me forget
I don’t like forgetting
I promised to remember
Don’t make me forget
Don’t leave me here
Tell me a story I can remember
Something I can hold
Like you hand when you are gone
Something I can lean on
My body is Not so godly to be perfect
I need every piece to stand right
All of this
I know to be true

And yet
Still there is a part of me that wants to say
Take my limbs
All of them
As long as you promise that when you dance
You hold me close
Against your skin
Break me into the mold of your movement
Take me home to meet your rhythm
If there is space for this matter
If I can matter in your space
Then take me
Every bit
For as long as you can
And then shake me free
Send me to hang from Saturn’s rings
I’d like to think I don’t need my body to be here
Don’t need it to stand upright
That’s right
But its wrong too
I said
That’s right’
But it can be wrong too
That’s how I feel about you
It makes me want to hang my limbs from something high
Just to see how long they hold
How far they travel
Till they snap

I Want to know
How much of everyone letting go
Is the weakness of my marrow
Or rather,
the carelessness of their hands

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