Sunday, August 14, 2011

Day 755: goodbye

i understand the desire for those who have been torn apart to never speak
never cross paths again
block eachother on facebook
because the smiles seem to cut through skin

i worry every time i find my way to your page that ill see you glowing harder with bodies i've never met than with my own
its something that makes me wonder
how our bodies could grow out of silence
in conversation

i also realize that i do not want to have any power in hurting you
dont want to worry about writing poems for other women if i feel them
it doesnt mean i loved you any less hard any less genuine
any less real
doenst mean my heart is any less broken
just that there are parts that somehow still work
i sure as hell dont understand it
somehow i still find beauty in the smile of a woman
even if she isnt you
even if i cant see my ocean in her eyes
even if falling further for her feels like im disrespecting your memory
but you never died
and we
we were never promised
we were just a bypass
a road that helped us grow
taught us to love
taught us even more
that we can love again
i know all these things in reason
not yet in practice

but time is the perfect promise
and i gave you half of my college experience for it
and you gave me more
that i can express in one poem
thats why there are so many here written to the tune of your heartbeat
remember this
now that its all over
now that the dedication of my chapbook is a lie
remember how every lie
was once true somewhere
like we were
and that moving on
doenst make any of that
any less miraculous
any less powerful
any less perfect

1 comment:

  1. Favorite line:

    "remember how every lie
    was once true somewhere
    like we were"