Monday, August 10, 2009

Day 21: Adopted


My 5 year old sister

Is too smart and inquisitive for her own good

And if she asks you a question

It is in your best interest to make up an answer quick

Because idk…

Well unlike with my easily pleased friends

idk just isn’t an option

and She’s far too cute and persistent to say no to

I knew this nature of hers would one day get one of us in trouble

And being the big sister wanting to protect her

I always hoped it would be me,

but never thought it would be this hard to dig myself out of the questioning graves she dug for me

You see

I remember the first time she asked me

“MONKEY! what is adopted mean?”

and I stood

shuffled my feet trying to think of the most PC way to explain how she was brought to this family


as a family

we always agreed that lehua’s birth parents would not be forgotten

we would fill photo albums with pictures from her adoption

her history would not be a secret

because honestly hiding her past was not an option

but when we decided this

I don’t think we ever thought about how we would explain it


An 8 letter word that I think shouldn’t fit in a five year old mouth or brain

A eight letter word

with a meaning I wish I could stray form my sisters heart

I wish I could just explain that it really doesn’t mean anything

Tha In this case

Adoption is just a journey and

what matters was the destination.


But I don’t know how to say this to her

And I’ve always worried that lehua’s beauty when completely grown wouldn’t fit into the facial features of my family

As just to add to our differences

I spent the last five years creating similarities

Focusing on the skills that we share

Like her athleticism, beauty and metal ability

But the truth is

That just makes her even more different than me

Because I never had that kind of thought process and physical capacity at 5

And I’ve never shined like she does

We are different

Born of different lines and extend different roots

And it scares me

Because I don’t know how to explain this phenomenon simply in a way a five year old genius can understand

Especially if I can’t make it reason in my head

And honestly

I thought I’d be lucky

Thought I’d be away at college when questions like this surfaced

But I’ve never really been that lucky

Except when it comes to lehua

You see if anyone has benefited from her matriculation into our family it

is me

You see Lehua is the only person who looks at me like im beautiful

Thinks im cool, talented and smart

The only person I know who would ever want to be anything like me

And I worry

That if I tell her that adopted mean we share no physical relation

if she’ll start to discount herself

start to think of herself as less than apart of my family and heart

so that night I tried to make sure she could stay grounded in her beauty and see what I see

but I only came up with blank expressions and confusion.


Lets go watch a movie?

and so lately I wish I could have thought up an answer quick enough that sounded a lot like this

just to make sure my sister would keep questioning the world

but never her existence and weather she belongs where she is

if I could I would tell her

Lehua take a seat and listen

We share a home and family

But our birth parents are different

And Its not that the woman who carried you for 9 months didn’t want you

Its that she didn’t deserve you

And even though your eyes and hair are of a different shades than mine it doens’t mean they don’t shine

It doenst mean you wont grow to be just like me if that what you want

Or more if you aspire to

This 8 letter word doenst mean anything except you different and special

Lehua remember

You were my sister before it was official

A court date and piece of paper didn’t make me love you it just gave me the chance to do it without fearing of your removal

Adobted means you are a gift from god that we didn’t expect but couldn’t be more grateful for

Adobted means you are beautiful


Adobted means you are beautiful

And that we are lucky.

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