day 33: (from a Columbian hotel) fear

there is no need to sit below the windows here

our building towers the street

and yet

we still try to wipe the riches and american from our skin before we step outside this hotel

there are too many rules to be learned

like fear

i am not used to the excellerated heartbeat that comes with overcrowded cities

i wonder if they teach this fear in kindergardens here?

like it belongs in our hearts and that its normal

my soul is already to full

i cant seem to make it fit

i am terrified of the sweat that comes with it

i feel weak here

helpless

and wonder if the ones whove allowed roots to spurt through these streets

if they find an inevitability in these feelings

they do not suppress it, instead use it to propel forward

and im stuck between a gun and a hard place in my mind

i cannot walk here without feeling like i am being followed

and i miss my freedom