Day 35: looking

Prompt: "grab the closest book to you...

Go to the first page and find the 12th word (that world is the title of your poem)
-Then turn to page 52 of the book, look up the 9th sentence and that sentence will be your first line.
-Then write from there"

Looking

"i couldn't believe she couldn't see the ugliness..."

how my skin was torn from the inside out

and my heart

only kept beating to fracture ribcage

how my lungs

were the only part about me beautiful enough to replicate themselves

some days i can close my eyes and see the ugliness

without looking

i place my hand on my soul and can taste its bitter sting

somedays

im looking for questions that i already have the answers for

somedays i am looking

searching

trying to be beautiful

without changing

trying to change

without being too beautiful

i am looking for my peace

i want my skin to speak of the terror that my bones keep

i am looking for that marrow that creeps through blood like nursery rhymes

wondering if my heart will ever beat for progress

or if it will just keep beating me down.