Day23: the difference between stars and hearts

EDIT:::::

I've been thinking a lot about counting crows lately

“One crow means sorrow

Ive been wondering If anyone would ever carve my name into their skin

Better their heart

I've been thinking about slitting my wrist or splitting my soul. Wondering if there's a difference and what's worse

I touched my scarred smile for the first time today in months and was reminded of it's brokenness

How it's fake and salty and wondered how I've forgotten the taste of my own split lips

., two

two crows mean joy,

This afternoon I watched a straight couple embrace at a stoplight and I wondered when was the last time i could write myself to that space

I spent the next hour wondering what's the difference in lying in love and lying in bed

Does it taste the same

Like plastic

Like salt

When we break are we the same

Are our hearts symmetrical

Like riffle chambers

(do we ever get to pick who we shoot)

Do u ever wish you had two?

One to hide and one to show

Would that feel a little too honest for comfort

. three

three crows a wedding,

Tomorrow morning I will sleep slept on a rooftop of a strangers skin tbe reminded that I cannot marry her

Gaze at the stars and wonderhow many are already dead

Like me

A facade of light and beauty

But too distant for anyone to notice them dying

The injustice

I wonder how long my arms are

And how tired they'll be by the time I'm 30 from holding people away

Wondered

Do the broken fade or just disappear

Wondered

Do stars leave footprints or traces of the places they’ve traveled

Do they scar

Do the other stars remember them when their gone

Or are there enough to fill the darkness left

Are people like stars

Do they ever wander

Easily forgotten unless in constellations

Do the ones that make pretty pictures ever die

If I was a piece of the big dipper would I be immortalized

Shine there even after my space was filled with night

Will I ever just be a piece of someone’s imagination

Do the lights in our hearts shine when we cry

Are we all really in the sky being told to reach to something that doesn't exist

Are we ignorant or lucky for believing in it

Does god really care whether or not we pray to him or ourselves

It is all relative?

Is expecting tomorrow a sin?

Should I care that I'll probably be condemned for this

. four crows a boy, five crows mean silver, six crows mean gold

I'll spend next week wondering if I was a rooftop or an invitation

Why hearing the word curves makes me think of beautiful women but rarely gets me off

And why beauty was always in the eye of the beholder but my sight was too week to grasp anything so heavy

Like a secret

Seven

seven crows a secret that's never been told”

This morning I spent an hour and a half contemplating my own existence until I realized

If every face I give the world is fake

Then so is every breath

And if I'm not honest enough to be broken

Then I'm sure

I never really existed

I must have been born half a beat

Before my death

I will know

I was nver a star

Just a picture of something thought to shine

I was painted that color

Watched as I tried to fit somewhere it it's shadow

This evening I will shoot my soul to the moon

Wondering if planets always have to revolve around the biggest star or if the world may ever dance with me

Keep your eye on my trail

Find beauty in me, broken

Watch me,

I’m Flying..

For the first and last time…

make a wish

ORIGINAL:

I've been thinking a lot about counting crows lately

If anyone would ever carve my name into their skin

Better their heart

I've been thinking about slitting my wrist or splitting my soul. Wondering if there's a difference and what's worse

I touched my tattooed smile for the first time today in months and was reminded of it's beauty and brokenness

How it's fake and salty and wondered how I've forgotten the taste of my own split lips

This afternoon I watched a straight couple embrace at a stoplight and I wondered when was the last time i could write myself to that space

I spent the next hour wondering

When we break are we the same

Are our hearts symmetrical

Like our lungs

Do u ever wish you had two?

One to hide and one to show

Would that feel a little too honest for comfort

Tomorrow morning I slept on a rooftop of a strangers skin

Gazed at the stars and wondered how many were already dead

Like me

A facade of light and beauty

But at a distance too for anyone to notice for years

I wondered how long my arms were

And how tired they'll be by the time I'm 30 from holding people away

Wondered

Do the broken fade or just disappear

Wondered

Do stars leave footprints or traces of the places they’ve traveled

Do they scar

Do the other stars remember them when their gone

Or are there enough to fill the darkness left

Are people like stars

Do they ever wander

Easily forgotten unless in constellations

Do the ones that make pretty pictures ever die

If I was a piece of the big dipper would I be immortalized

Shine there even after my space was filled with night

Will I ever just be a piece of someone’s imagination

Do the lights in our hearts shine when we cry

Are we all really in the sky being told to reach to something that doesn't exist

Are we ignorant or lucky for believing in it

Does god really care whether or not we pray to him or ourselves

It is all relative?

Is expecting tomorrow a sin?

Should I care that I'll probably be condemned for this

I'll spend next week wondering if I was a rooftop or an invitation

Why hearing the word curves makes me think of beautiful women but rarely gets me off

And why beauty was always in the eye of the beholder but my sight was too week to grasp anything so heavy

This morning I spent an hour and a half contemplating my own existence until I realized

If every face I give the world is fake

Then so is every breath

And if I'm not honest enough to be broken

Then I'm sure

I never really existed

I am no longer wondering

I know

I must have been born half a beat

Before my death

I know

I was nver a star

Just a picture of something u thought should shine

And you painted me that color

Watched as I tried to fit somewhere it it's shadow

This evening I will shoot the moon

Keep your eye on my trail

Find beauty in my ability to show me broken

And make a wish

That maybe someday you'll be strong enough to do the same